FEET

10/22/2019

Right behind the human heart, as far as feats of incredible stamina are concerned, are those perpendicular extensions at the end of a leg known as feet. The foundation and transportation of the human form is positioned and propelled by this boney outrigger that can move the body in three dimensions. They must support and convey up to 400 plus pounds of organic assemblage and relocate it according to the whims of the cranial pudding known as the brain. These bone infested structures are incredibly complex in design and development and work relentlessly whenever the biped is erect. Capable of speeds up to 28 MPH and jumping distances of four meters, the feet take a pounding every day in the world of an adult and awake every morning for a new regiment of abuse. They are rewarded on a few occasions with massages and minimal stress, but for the most part they are slaves to the brain and are pushed to extreme limits. Expected to put in a 16-hour day in the pursuit of work or locomotion, they are called upon during celebrations to move erratically and jiggle the rest of the skeleton in a ritual known as dancing. A successful dance may culminate in a procreation process that will call upon the feet to thrust the pelvis back and forth and extract the seeds in the males. The female uses her feet to push back, increase friction and jar the egg into the uterus after fertilization. A favorable fruition will result in a pair of feet kicking the lady’s internal organs in four to six months. The inseminating male, if he hangs around, will get his ass kicked by the pregnant female and the little feet of his seed, when it is ejected nine months later. Allowed to rest for nine to 18 months, the newborn’s feet wait patiently for the muscles to grow strong enough in order to propel it into a world of parental torture. Modern women have now encased their feet in hard, pointy shoes to fend off the inseminators and avoid these little ass kickers.