SHEEP SHELTERS

5/13/2020

The Almighty Shepherds Society (ASS), has dictated a decree upon its flock: STAY HOME. Unable to gather in sheep pastures and mingle with their own kind, the Walking Wool Workshops (3W’s) are now huddling in the barns, waiting for the ASS to open the doors. Although wanting to go outside and experience interactions with other flocks and taste delicious grasses on the meadows, the sheep are scared. The ASS has warned the docile domesticates that wolves are outside and that they are in great danger of being eaten. Reports of dead sheep are everywhere, and the numbers multiply by the minute. Charts with colors are put up on the barn walls showing the 3W’s just how deadly this horrific terminator is. It seems these new wolves are different from the regular wolves that are out there. These killer canines are invisible. Before, with the standard pack of wolves to deal with, they would kill an occasional sheep and that was that. They usually picked out an old sheep that was ready to be turned into mutton anyway. It seemed that the victim was physically compromised, and the wolves could sense that. However, the ASS told the herd that the new wolves kill ALL sheep and posted these graphs to display the carnage. The sheep were scared, but felt somewhat safe under the vigilant, brown eye of the ASS. As a pacification tactic, the ASS highly recommended that the sheep wear masks to disguise themselves, so the wolves do not see them. Evidently, an invisible wolf does not recognize a victim if it hides its facial features. Clever. Now with a barn full of masked sheep, looking like a bunch of armed robbers left over from the train heist days, a few are going outside to face the invisible wolf. As they cautiously test the waters, select 3W’s venture out. When the sheep return that haven’t been eaten by the invisible wolf, the ASS are standing by with their requisitioned ventilators. Running them backwards, the ASS hoses the shit off the sheep’s trembling rump. BAAAD!