DANCING

1/30/2017

There is a lot of anticipation in a group of people that have recently received an upcoming wedding invitation, especially among the females. This special occasion requires much thought as to: what’s for dinner, what to wear, and most important, what kind of music will they play? The bride and her mother, along with her closest friends, spend weeks planning this glorious celebration that will cost tens of thousands of dollars. After the somber ceremony, the reception begins with alcoholic beverages designed to break down the inhibitions present when large groups of strangers congregate. The meal is served to slow down the effect of the inebriants poured. After a short while, and many speeches, a large area is cleared to accommodate the music makers and the dance floor. Starting slowly, couples engage themselves in a choreographed display of movement designed to be a prelude to sex. This ritual is like a bolero, from pianissimo rising in a continuous crescendo to a jaw dropping fortissimo. An occasional slow dance is inserted so the elderly can join in too, and energy can be conserved for later release. Among the women, dresses are worn to show off the legs and to aid in dispersing natural pheromones to excite the males, just like a speaker cone sending out sound waves. This powerful scent wafting through the room starts to drive the males into a frenzy. Competition for attention ensues as fights have been known to erupt. As the celebration ends at midnight to prevent the riotous revelers from civil unrest, the couples head off to private dens and engage in animalistic coitus. The vertical dancing is an introduction to the procreation process and is used quite readily by the ‘fishing females’ to analyze and capture their unwitting male selections. The much-anticipated horizontal dancing follows. There is an ancient question out there that deserves a response. “Why is there hair around a vagina?” The answer is quite simple: to hide the hook.         

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