RATTLESNAKES II

2/5/2017

When a new business is formed, investors watch from the sidelines to observe its financial outcome. If it appears to be profitable, they calculate the risk of putting their own money into the venture, not for the merits of the product or service offered, but strictly to make money. The rattlesnake food industry could be a financial shaker that will rattle the experts. Marketing towards the Z Generation, or Boomlets as they are known, this new restaurant business will go to war with existing fast food empires. If you have a commerce that shows promise, there is money to be made, but the real fortunes are in franchising. Throughout this country, and later the Western world, SNAKE-FILL-EH? stores will be opening everywhere. The Boomlets will drag their acting Baby Boomer parents to these locations to partake in this new health food. Being much more assertive and educated in common sense than their sissified biological parents, the Millennials, these Boomlets are willing to take on new concepts. Not willing to accept defeat like the Y generation because they were raised by the X, or lost generation, these Z-ites have the “damned the torpedoes, full speed ahead” attitude brewing. They need only a macho, rattlesnake diet to amplify this trait. The SNAKE-FILL-EH? locations will fill this void. Fearlessness will abound. The menu will have several choices for these future warriors, who will be raised on eating one of the most feared creatures on earth. Diamondback burgers with Cobra Cokes and donut shaped pieces of rattlesnake known as Aspholes will be the big sellers. For dessert, a Venom Malt will be served in a rattle shaped cup that has loose bb’s in a sealed compartment underneath the container. In order to bulk up, and be as intimidating as possible, the young Boomlets, sporting excessively long canine teeth, will slither up to the order window in an S shaped path, look the fast food servers square in the eye and say, “SSSSSSUPER SSSSSSIZE ME, EH?” 

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