RATTLESNAKES III

2/6/2017

Overcoming a taboo, whether religious or something imposed by a society, is a tough nut to crack. Consuming rattlesnake goes against the grain for most people, because of the vile way it has learned to feed through evolution. Quickly striking its prey, and instantly injecting a venom that will soon incapacitate its victim, the rattlesnake waits nearby for the deadly concoction to take effect. Using the sensors in the pit of its snout and on the end of its forked tongue, it then locates the unfortunate causality. It prods the carcass for signs of life, and then finds the head and slowly starts swallowing it whole. This is perceived by humans to be extremely abhorrent, because a lot of the snake’s victims are fellow mammals. Observing a cute chipmunk disappearing down a snake’s gullet in slow motion brings on an emotion of utter hate for such a contemptuous act; unless, of course, that was the ‘chippy’ that recently ate your flowerbed. What we fail to see is everything in nature revolves around violence. The weather can be violent, survival can be violent, disputes can erupt into violence, and even the act of procreation is an act of violence. When humans engage in coitus, the male is trying to ‘stab the spleen,’ ‘puncture the pancreas,’ ‘lance the liver,’ and ‘kill the kidneys,’ with his snake like member pounding into the female’s sex organ. The whole time both parties display FUCK FACES that bare their teeth, grunt and moan heavily, and breathe rapidly, just like in a battle to the death. Should we really worry about eating a healthy rattlesnake meal? Give the cows, pigs, and chickens a break. SNAKE-FILL-EH? has a promotional special that is giving away a real snake’s rattle with the purchase of 10 Diamondback Burgers and 10 orders of Aspholes. It comes with an adhesive to allow the male ‘lover’ to glue it to his scrotum. This way during sex, he can create a background percussion symphony and is warning his partner he is about to strike. SSSSEXY!

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