GLOBAL WARNING

3/5/2017

In the near future, the youth of America will have new decisions as to where to go on Spring Break. Miami Beach will require a 30-minute boat ride from the mainland to the 100 or so high-rises poking up through the ocean off in the distance. A floating marina now moored to the 3rd floor balconies will welcome its new guests. In the Gulf of New Mexico, houseboats and runabouts link together on sandbars 3″ above the water at low tide at the former Padre Islands. Cape Hatteras is nothing more than a series of lighthouses sticking out of the Atlantic Ocean like giant buoys. The former city of New Orleans will be known as the floating Big Easy. Casinos mounted on top of barges and anchored to underwater bridges will draw in huge crowds and for a modest up charge, you can park your watercraft in the largest indoor marina in the world, the Superdome. Bellagio’s fountain on the Las Vegas Strip will be turned off in shame and converted into a skateboarding park once the floating Big Easy turns on the former New Orleans’ dewatering pumps and redirects the discharge skyward. The 690-foot high, and 30 feet in diameter, columns of thundering water, with strobing rainbow lights, and chest pounding energy waves will dazzle its awestruck audience. Lower Manhattan hosts the new Venice of the world with grand gondolas galivanting the downtown avenues as the old Venice, Italy becomes a popular scuba diving destination. The Southern States will be known as the Land of a Million Islands and attracts the students who like the romance of an adventuresome archipelago. The Sandals Resort International is courting all the retired senior citizens, because it is now the largest hospitality employer in the world. The newly designed company logo features the beach sandal without the vertical strap between the first and second toe, but uses a single strap across the top of the entire foot. This is due to the current genetic mutation of humans now growing webbed feet. 

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