UNDER CONTROL

7/23/2020

This popular expression has a firm perception and shows up in the English language religiously. Used most often in the business world, this jargon conveys information from the minions to the management that a situation has been handled successfully. In reality, it has not. The concept of UNDER CONTROL is misleading in that man believes he has godlike powers and can take control of any setting that he encounters. This oxymoron is right up there with Human Resources, a complete lie. When man takes control of fate, he’ll now need to navigate around flying, maroon-striped rhinos, as they too will fill the sky in this world of fantasy and lie fabrication. With Murphy’s law well established as a sound law of physics, just like Newton’s laws of motion, the very idea of having something UNDER CONTROL is science fiction. As humans run around inventing new, chrome crap to sell to stupid suckers worldwide, the gold keeps piling up in one’s bank vault only to be stolen by another entity (business associate or government) when they look away or die. If they think they have it UNDER CONTROL, it won’t be long before the ants make off with all their ‘picnic food’. In a time of war, if an army has everything UNDER CONTROL, it won’t be long before the ‘defeated’ enemy unleashes a surprise assault and sends the troops into a rapid retreat. When the engineers tell the owners that the building’s unique design is UNDER CONTROL, it won’t be long before it is on the 6 o’clock news as a pile of rubble in the street. When a husband brags to his drinking buddies that he has his wife UNDER CONTROL, it won’t be long before the divorce lawyer is prying his last asset (beer mug) from the man’s hand. The only proper way to use this expression accurately is to explain to an individual that the current state of affairs is UNDER CONTROL and is in a holding pattern, but it won’t be long before the entire situation is about to go southernly south, and go completely OUT OF CONTROL. 

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