ACROCHORDON II

1/8/2018

By far the greatest engineering firm ever assembled on planet earth is Mother Nature Inc. This outfit goes back 4.5 billion years and has had an impressive history that covers all scientific disciplines. At first it specialized in planet engineering, creating minerals, atmospheric gases, and liquid water. Later, 3.1 billion years ago, it ventured into organic chemistry that utilized energy to produce organized organisms that worked together. It then graduated to complex variants that reproduced itself and all hell broke loose. The oceans were teeming with life. Around 400 million years ago, some of these life forms crawled onto land, and started hanging out there in order to avoid all the commotion going on in the drink. M.N.I. started working in the aviation field and began filling the sky with these organic dive bombers. All the data observed was recorded into the DNA for future reference. Nearly 200,000 years ago, M.N.I. fired up the artificial intelligence program and on one little twig in the tree of life, Homo Sapiens appeared. Walking upright created new problems. As a thinking unit, it solved some of the problems themselves, but still relied on the information implanted in them. The acrochordon, or skin tags, are early technology that helped reproduction with pheromone dispersal at a later age; youth needed no help. It also brought in knowledge from the aviation days. As a biped experiencing entropy in their old age, humans become unstable in their gait. The genius inherent at M.N.I. gave the skin tags a dual purpose, they double as spoilers. The slats observed on an airplane’s wings come up to slow down the forward motion of the vessel and thus spoil lift. Those acrochordons in the armpit and groin area are there to slow you down in a fall. The neck locations are for a backwards tumble and the facial locations spoil forward momentum. Avoid dermatologists wanting to cut off skin tags, your increased speed may break your bones.

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