ACROCHORDON

1/4/2018

Those fleshy columns of colored skin that grow on the surface of normal skin are called Acrochordon, or more commonly known as skin tags. These ‘tenement high-rises’ that normally show up in the underarms, neck, eyelids and under the breasts on women, appear later in life and usually pose no threat to the persons sporting those ‘housing projects.’ They are believed to be the direct result of constant friction between clothing and skin or skin on skin. The reasoning for that is because of their locations on the body, and the fact that obese people sport skin tags that resemble Dhaka, Bangladesh, the most densely populated city in the world. If this were true, then skin tags would be rampant on the palms of males and their penile shafts. They would also be prevalent on the first two fingers and labia of females that experience improper emotional attention. Real Estate salespeople would have Manhattan skyline growths around their lips and tongues because of their constant barrage of Broker babble, although some lubrication is provided by saliva. People who wear skintight clothing would experience legs full of intertangled acrochordon that would grab the fabric of the pants and make removal painful. It would sound like Velcro being ripped apart. The real reason for skin tags is that it is a pheromone dispersal tool. Its peduncle attachment (a fleshy stalk containing blood vessels) flairs out to support a billboard sized mass with a large surface area. They emit chemical triggers that are picked up by persons of the opposite sex and initiates the procreation process. The underarms are held open when dancing, the neck is rubbed to stimulate secretion and the groin areas are massaged to unleash huge pheromone dispersal. Fat people have larger numbers of these emitters to overcome rejecting suiters and overload their victims with chemical saturation. Who can resist when a skin tagged eyelid starts blinking rapidly, and entices the lover to get it on?  

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