The feminists have upped the ante since they burned their bras at a protest against a beauty pageant 52 years ago. They were revolting against what the males of American Society expected of them. The Gloria Stingmans of that era thrust their verbal darts at the male chauvinistic pigs who dick-tated the role of women in the 60’s and 70’s. Because of this movement, glass ceilings have been raised but not broken. Today’s new feminists have gone after the auditory dominance of male flatulence (farts) as a way of intimidating the female into a submissive role and is known as fart rape. Really? The new feminists who do not own a set of gonads must understand the physics of such a proprietary organ. Here is a basic breakdown.

1): These reproductive glans, unlike the female, are not protected within the body, but are slung out in the elements like raw meat in a lion’s den.

2): These nerve laden nuts are hard wired right at the end of the superhighway spine. Any unauthorized stimuli shoots up the backbone at 4 times the speed of sound (screams of severe pain).

3): These jewels of future children have a hierarchy that places them on the throne. If confronted simultaneously with a punch thrown at the face and a kick to the balls, the individual under attack will block the kick and suffer a painful broken nose.

4): For any woman who’s worth her weight in love, they have at times, tasted the ball brew and compared it with the flavor of warm tin cans. There is a metal in solution, that carries the code of life and gives us our iron wills.

5): The fact that men fart more often and more explosively than women is nothing more than nature keeping the soul soup stirred. The fact that the scrotum is hanging right in front of the anus is an intentional design that is formulated so the bells (balls) are rung at frequent intervals, to keep the swimmers stimulated. Just like church bells are rung at high decibels to alert the fluck of an impending searmen at the pudium. 

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