LAZER LAWYERS II

6/7/2018

As an avalanche of litigations and lawsuits inundated the court system because of a recently released technology that went awry, counselor demand has skyrocketed. All this because the replacement generations of humans had a better idea. They wished to decrease greenhouse gases that their parents belched out of chimneys for decades. One particular product that was notoriously crapping out huge volumes of carbon dioxide was Portland cement, the signature ingredient of concrete, a major construction component. Heating the mixture of limestone and clay to 2,640°F. with natural gas or coal was the culprit for emitting all this CO2. Expanding foam with natural fibers, such as bamboo, to give it tensile strength was developed with the fringe benefit of being an excellent insulator. Not strong enough for civil engineers to carry heavy loads, but perfect for housing, it had one drawback. It was ugly. The Z generation, growing up on video games, merely implanted electronic TV screens into the surface and coupled it to a computer to produce vivid 3D images on it. It took off like a rocket. With charismatic curb appeal by projecting the look of a mansion outside, and inside displaying moving views of mountain sunsets or ocean sunrises the demand drove the US back in first place as a manufacturing country. As with leaded gasoline and fire-retardant asbestos, the greatest inventions came back to bite humans again. All those projecting screens with all that photon energy slowly destroyed the optic nerves in mammals. Instant lawsuits surfaced like a blue whale fighting for air. The Millennials who grew up with redundancy saw fit to get rid of class action lawsuits and spread the workload evenly amongst millions of lawyers to rectify this dilemma. Scattered throughout the new 3rd world country of America, sits millions of ugly piss-yellow, foam houses with their projection screens permanently silenced and its citizens stumbling around blindly and broke.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s