LAZER LAWYERS III

6/9/2018

As each generation improves the planet from the previous one with technological advances and more efficient processes, the only real gain that is observed is an increase in litigation. Every time a new pharmaceutical is introduced, a new class action lawsuit appears a few years later. As motor vehicles have more safety equipment installed and get better mileage, the number of recalls goes up after someone sues. When a plane falls out of the sky, hordes of investigators infiltrate the scene to find the cause and release the legal teams to pounce on the negligent. The barrage of barristers just keeps coming to protect us from us. The Alpha Generation has set out to improve that. Like hurricanes, each generation needs a name. When the X Generation came on the scene in the 60’s, it was followed by the Y and Z generations. After running out of letters in the English language, a clever journalist started out with the first letter of the Greek alphabet and we are now covered for 480 more years, provided man can survive the court system that long. The Alpha Generation has taken the weak link out of the legal industry: humans. Inspired by Deep Blue, a supercomputer who defeated a world champion chess player in 1997, the Deep Brown ultra-supercomputer, has been putting counselors in unemployment lines in record numbers. Loaded with instantaneous access to all precedents and procedures, and a state-of-the-art interpretation of the English language and logic circuits, it is slowly pushing judges off their podiums as the scales of justice loses its pivot. Omnipotent and flawless, its rulings are gospel and cannot be appealed. Deep Brown’s decisions are god like, and its operating costs are nil, thanks to superconducting circuits. Again, the new generation has improved upon the previous generation’s lack of knowledge and has created the greatest invention known to man, the ultimate lawyer. The future on mankind resides somewhere in the bowels of Deep Brown.

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