The enigma has been unlocked. Drs. Jeff Muleborrower, Clair All and Shoe Inn, under the direction of General Cora, have cracked the hardest language to have ever been written. These were intelligent creatures who had resided on earth thousands of years ago. By studying the chronicles discovered in primeval landfills surrounding the cities of the Ancient One’s (AO’s), the linguist team took a new approach to understanding the genius dispersed into the stone books that were mixed into the fossilized garbage. That society had disappeared off the face of the planet 10 or more centuries ago, when the world contained technological wonders, like thermonuclear weapons of mass destruction and sarin gas; whatever the hell they were. The team members noticed that at a certain level in the landfills, these books first started appearing. The AO’s had a numbering system that appeared to be in base 10 and a reference point of 1961CE was noted when the very first books appeared. Beyond that point, books popped up everywhere and, towards the very end, a mass implant of these scriptures appeared at the top of the landfills. These were different. They glowed in the dark and the brown text inside, known as ORGEMITE, was much more fluid and hastily laid down. Studying this phenomenon, the team saw vibrato pulses similar to rapid muscular contractions and concluded that immense numbers of books were written at the last stages of this civilization, as if to blurt out all their knowledge at once. The AO’s may have seen the end coming and were trying to convey a warning to future generations. There appears to be a reference to a member of their society who seemed to possess a higher skill at conveying this language amongst their own people. If the team’s analysis is correct, this AO’s title was known as a POLY TISHIAN and was responsible for the demise of this society by their DIE-A-REA rhetoric. The AO’s decided to exterminate themselves right off the planet.

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