REMODELING II

9/29/2018

With the completion of the aquatic demolition that sprayed the entire kitchen with water to keep the dust down, the attention now turns to cleaning up the white sludge in the basement directly below. An air force of box fans keeps the background noise to a steady 85 decibels, the same as standing 5 feet from a motorcycle. John and Jill Normal can feel a tinge of animosity between themselves for Jill’s decision to go with Richard’s Remodeling Racket, a choice that hinged on her love of tennis and the fact that Richard Recardo, the owner, was a former flannel shirt model for Wartmart. John did his best to wipe the gypsum goo from his childhood baseball card collection. Hank Aaron is now a Caucasian. The progress upstairs was sluggish at best. Different trades with strange people came and went in the next 6 weeks with intermittent periods of no workers, to multiple trades showing up on the same day and having radio wars. The country western plumber went toe to toe with the heavy metal carpenter who was drowning out the classical music of the electrician. The winner was the electrician who isolated the circuit the other two trades were on and temporarily threw the neutral on the other hot bus bar, sending 240 volts into the circuit. Their radios along with all the Normals’ electronic gadgets on that circuit went up in smoke. The next 2 hours were wasted with the plumber and carpenter trying desperately to get their radios to work. The coy electrician tried to help but smirked when they turned their backs. Classical music ain’t bad. On their way to Wartmart to replace the 3 electronic devices that the sparky said got destroyed by a utility malfunction in the neighborhood, John and Jill stopped talking after John remarked that when you hire Richard’s Remodeling Racket, you really get the Dick. He then asked Jill if she’d pass an egg for Richard Ricardo, the Wartmart flannel shirt model who entered their house as if he was walking the runway. WOW!  

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