WATCH THIS! II

10/13/2018

When the young Baby Boomers came of age and started spilling their seeds, they remember the joys of having young children around. These little tykes would test the limits of their own bodies bouncing around in a world dictated by physics. Eager to please, and brave enough to try, they would jump on their bicycles that they mastered one week ago and get their parents to watch as they attempted a skillful stunt they’ve been practicing alone. Patient parents went into alarm mode when their tiny offspring began their antics with the phrase, WATCH THIS! It was mostly successful. Now on the doorsteps of the decade of death, the parents have an opportunity to give their children release from parental worry that their failing health bestowed upon them. One call to the WATCH THIS! corporation and the wheels of freedom began to roll. First off is the method of exit to choose: air, land, or sea? Next is the date, usually an anniversary or a time of convenience and finally the contract to make it all legally binding. Although suicide is illegal, many loopholes exist and when money rears its golden head, slick lawyers can find a way. So, with all the T’s crossed, the method of exit selected, and next week Tuesday chosen because there is nothing on TV that evening, the crew gets to work. In this case, it’s mutual; mom and dad are going at once. He’s advanced Alzheimer’s and she’s severely Osteoporosis. They are strapped into a carnival ride called the Rock-O-Plane with go cams on their heads. After their teary farewells, the ride is accelerated until the vehicle is 90° off the ground. At a given que, the parents yell out with all their might: WATCH THIS! and the explosive charges on the cables are ignited. All cameras follow the trajectory into the earth a quarter mile away. SUCCESS! The footage is instantly downloaded to the internet and the hits start coming in. By 8PM, there are millions, and the kitty is up to $265,867. A nice start for the children. 

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