WATCH THIS!

10/11/2018

With the final centenarians gasping their last breaths and the remaining members of the Silent Generation dropping like flies, the Baby Boomers started shuffling into their death walk. Raised by the Silent Generation with ample encouragement from the grandparents to beat their offspring, this is the last tough generation that halted this behavior. The Baby Boomers, like all parents, want the best for their children and wish to leave a financial legacy to make it easier for them. But over the decades, when the reins were handed to them, financial promises from their employers changed. Gone are secure and lucrative pensions. Social Security pays the utilities and property taxes and that’s it. Baby Boomers are terrified that their medical bills will burden their children, and nothing will be left for them. So, a new service has been developed to help them out. Invented by the tech savvy youth, this internet company has concocted a plan to benefit all parties concerned. It’s a triple win situation. Here’s how it works. As the Baby Boomers start to decay mentally and physically, they are approached by a spokesman from the firm. A contract is drawn up and signed by the parents, their children, and the firm. A day is selected, and the script is written with input from all three parties. When the day arrives, the props are supplied by the firm. Either one or both parents enter the vehicle given them and have go cams strapped to their head(s). The vehicle is propelled rapidly into a multitude of scenarios, all ending in a spectacular and fatal crash. The go cams capture the event, and it is put on the internet. This attracts viewers which attracts merchants who pay to sponsor this unique event. The children and the firm split the profits from the videos, and everyone wins. People can’t wait to get home and watch this real-life carnage. The beginning pays tribute to the parents and just before the vehicle is jettisoned, they yell intensely, “WATCH THIS!” 

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