WATCH THIS! IV

10/15/2018

Like all businesses, the monopoly on televised self-euthanasia, with help from the WATCH THIS! corporation, won’t last in a capitalistic society. The large profits generated in a business that sells advertising slots in a scheme to portray an exciting end to life, woke up every greedy snake that slithered through the garden of life. The internet is flush with knockoff firms that jumped on the bandwagon. Ranging from backyard Hillbillies that give you a flat rate of $1,000 for dropping an old 1956 Buick on your head, to billion-dollar corporations such as nursing and funeral homes whose business was sliding down due to the repercussions of this new technique to end life. Their videos are amazing as they have coaxed the best talents in Hollywood to their side of the fence. One would think the federal government would step in and put an end to this taboo, but all the top end litigation firms have the Supreme Court’s dockets overflowing as money is pouring in like a broken dam. It falls under the Roe v Wade decision. State Appellate Courts have their hands full as well and if a state is successful in making this end-of-life decision illegal, there will be another state that sees financial gain and will approve “Euthanasia Entertainment”. Alaska, with its declining oil and cold war revenues, is already on board for approval. Fantastic fees for filming these farewells will fatten the financial funds available. With its fabulous scenery and plenty of steep mountains to take advantage of gravity’s death grip, Alaskan Air’s stock has doubled as families have booked future flights that will be paid for by the revenue generated by these exiting videos. Resorts are going up everywhere in anticipation of this new influx along with stockpiles of popcorn and lawn chairs in warehouses throughout the state. Alcohol, gambling, and pot, move over, we have another addiction waiting to join the group and generate revenues for our illustrious governments. ENJOY! 

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