Ken Caulker awoke one morning with a brand-new outlook on life, one he never felt before. For today is the day Mr. Caulker is going to take his own life. For the last decade, entropy has crept steadily into his life and has begun to overtake his life force. Ken Caulker’s anatomy was failing. Trips to the doctors were fruitless and frustrating. He had enough; if dying was imminent, he wanted it on his own terms. Mr. Caulker contacted the most experienced EUTHANASIA ENTERTAINMENT outfit out there, WATCH THIS! Over the last 6 years, Ken has been watching their videos and was impressed with their professionalism. After some haggling and sorting out of the details, the contract was signed. He just sold his soul to the devil. MONEY! Ken didn’t matter; his children were going to get a very nice “going away” present. That morning, Ken met the producer and technical staff who had outfitted a Kawasaki Ninja 1000 with 2 JATO bottles attached. These solid rocket boosters were going to get that bike to nearly the speed of light. With everything at the track set, Ken, wearing a spike infested armored suit, mounted the supersonic steed, and fired up the engine. Before anyone knew what was going down, Ken bolted down the highway towards a known drug house where he had his own film crew ready. They captured his dramatic entrance by driving right through the front door. Upon entry, he ignited the JATO bottles, and interspersed with the roar of the rockets were blood solidifying screams. The night before he hired 2 men to purchase heroin from the dealer and they secretly stashed miniature cameras all over. Between these and the reinforced go cams on Ken, the carnage was insane. Ken bounced around that room like a bullet. The ricocheting bike and his spiked apparel shredded the bad guys of that house into a bloody slime. The hits on that video set a new record. Ken Caulker’s children are now retired and live in an extravagant home in tropical Costa Rica. 

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