As election time nears, our great democratic society gets ready to vote for the candidate that they feel will best represent them in public office. REALLY? Unless you’re the CEO of a giant defense contractor or lawyer representing a geriatric pharmaceutical manufacturer with hordes of cash, politicians will lie like a desperate woman striving for a trip to the altar. They will say anything just to get your vote to get into the GOOD OLD BOYS CLUB, and if they’re connected like LBJ was, they can carry 80% of a county’s vote. Now that’s loyalty, or maybe it was rigged? One of their tactics to get into the Power Palace is called mudslinging. This verbal assault on an opposing candidate is commonplace in today’s elections. Twisted information, misrepresentation, and words taken out of context, fill the air waves for months prior to a vote. The competition, represented by big money with different agendas, reverts to the same tactics and Average Joe has to endure this audible manure contest. How does one make an educated decision of whom to install in office? Simple, pick a party and go with a generalization of what they represent. Republicans= ridiculous, Democrats= disastrous, and Independents= I don’t want either, so my vote doesn’t really count. A new technique is available based on the game, Rock, Paper, Scissors. A Philanderer beats a Pedophile because age is important, and the Pedophile’s victim can’t vote. A Pocket Politician beats a Philanderer because they have loyalty to the one’s they’re screwing, whereas a Philanderer will screw anyone. A Pedophile beats a Pocket Politician because the Pedophiles are attracted to the young businesses while the Pocket Politicians are entrenched in the old, dying regimes. With these rules, all that is required is to place your candidate in one of these three categories. Philanderer, Pedophile or Pocket Politician. The mudslinging will help you in your decision and allow you to pick the best candidate.

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