It was looking like humans were going places when they gave up their skirmishes and wars due to the introduction of a beauty cream by the TIGHTWAD Co. The pacification process was successful, because when men unloaded their sacks of salmon semen, that aggressive hormone testosterone subsided, and they became relaxed and happy. The avenue to that scenario was opened years ago with the introduction of FACIAL FACTORIES. At first, for many, it was uncomfortable to unlease those taboos associated with public facials, but when the fantastic skin quality and tightness made women feel special and wanted, nearly everyone jumped on board. This is when the pleasant situation started to erode. Like drugs that have plagued mankind for so long, these booths became addictive. Lines of men and women gathered around these areas, a little at first, but later on, as the stigma slowly dissolved, congregations of pulsating humans filled the streets. People stopped going to work and simple chores were abandoned. Women didn’t cook and men didn’t eat. All energy was directed at instant self-gratification and slowly the people started to die of impulse vanity. It was horrible. Skeletons of men were stumbling from one booth to another booth blindly. Women’s faces were so taut that they lost their beauty and became grotesque. On numerous occasions, a scratch from a ring on a finger could split the face apart like an exploding egg sending billions of microscopically small, white, springy hooks flying in all directions. It was absolutely abominable and beyond description. As the world’s population crashed like a meteor into a mountain, a few souls who resisted the urge to be beautiful, survived. It is now this select group of survivors, who hold the fate of humanity. From all future stock of men and women, the Adams and Eves are wandering the planet, seeking their Gardens of Eden. As they venture forth, Adam is seen tenderly kissing Eve’s fat, wrinkled face.

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