Employing millions of specialists worldwide, the 195 countries that utilize some type of judicial system to guarantee that 2 or more parties will do what they said they were going to do, are busy with intricate language. Nearly every human action is overseen by some sort of contract either written or implied. A country’s laws are, in essence, a contract between its citizens and the governing body. The mere act of jaywalking in some cultures is an implied contract that allows an enforcing community (police) to issue you a citation for such an infraction. The fine is used to pay for the cop’s wages and the contract is thus satisfied. In developed western countries, the instrument of marriage becomes a contract between 2 people for sexual favors, child rearing, and financial security. If either party defaults, the only winner is the attorneys who use spite, jealousy, and greed as their allies in breaking that ironclad contract. Employment and performance contracts abound for movie stars and athletes looking at multimillion dollar obligations, that, at times, have to be renegotiated or terminated just because of a propensity to change one’s mind. These procedures net lawyers multi-Beemer salaries (BMW cars) for reworking the internal language of a contract to satisfy the whining wusses. Other contracts that are drawn up to address a particular goal include fixed price, unit price, T&M, bilateral, unilateral, unconscionable, adhesion, aleatory, and a few more just to keep the language leopards ready to pounce on an uncrossed T. The one and only contract that can NEVER be broken is the contract between you and your perceived god. Whether that deity is an elderly gentleman with a white robe, a collection of green aliens, or a pink flamingo with booster rockets alongside his beak, it doesn’t matter. When your contract for your presence on this planet is up, IT’S UP. No renegotiations, no extensions. Move to the nearest exit NOW: there’s no reason to be here anymore.

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