12/16/2018
Nature’s timing is impeccable as sexual maturity is wrapping up just as most governments allow their 16-year-old citizens the privilege to drive vehicles on their highways. After passing the driver skill tests, these teenagers are off exploring the world of highways and hormones just as all the working parts of the genitalia are releasing secretions. The tool at hand for exploration of both worlds is one of man’s best inventions, the automobile. As a kid, boys dreamed of owning their own ride so as to gain complete freedom and to take their friends on road trips to exotic places. As a testosterone driven demon, the goal is now to soup up the sedan and be the baddest boy in the Buick. The fringe benefit is an enormous ego boost as you beat the paint off Joe Koot’s pouncing Plymouth and Bill Cambell’s furious Ford. With your deuce and some change (a 1966 Buick Electra 225 Sedan), you are now the talk of the town, and the fillies of Forrestville, Florida are out in full force to win their place in the passenger seat. Being new to the courting game with absolutely no instructions, that mini baseball bat is trying to rip the zipper off your Levis when sprouting girls come around. You initially figured that your dick doubled as a drainpipe for the pus contained in the zits on your face when you masturbated for the first time. That fantastic pumping sensation that was followed by a pus like discharge scared the hell out of you until you realized you didn’t die. You only went to heaven. Now, with a young girl in your ride and no money in your pocket, it was time for trip down a dark deserted road. That car was taking you to a world you never knew before. As stupid conversation disappeared amongst passionate kissing, the fingers started seeking holey ground. Just as pay dirt was only inches away, the cop switched on the red gum drop and it was curtains for the both of you. That big Buick was impounded, and your manhood came crashing down twice.
Torked Truth 