LONG PIG

1/30/2019

The gastronomic world has individuals who specialize in bringing forth tang and piquancy that excite the tastebuds of the people who sample their culinary creations. These food gods are known as chefs and spend big money to be educated in the art of sauces and spices in order to prepare the ultimate delectable dinners. Commanding 6 figure salaries for the best of these sustenance chefs, people will gladly pay their wages for the privilege of enjoying the fruits of their labors and the vegetables of their knowledge. These fodder fanatics are not always paid professionals; some just enjoy making others happy with their silage skills. A spouse with a knack for tasty treats is more valuable than a looker who can’t boil water. Looks degrade but good meals are made. Throughout the world, there is a pedestal that cultures place their cre’me de la cre’me citizens on: the best warrior, the best medicine man, and the best cook. In some Pacific Islands, tribes reside that employ cannibalism to survive, or maybe they just got tired of eating fish. Their term for the flesh of their victims roughly translates into English as LONG PIG. Of particular value to the group members would be an individual who was adroit in preparing the organs and flesh of the guest who inadvertently came to dinner. Using sauces and thickening agents to render the human cuisine as extremely tasty would be a talent to die for. Cooking temperatures, basting, simmering, and herb additions would have taken decades to fine tune the finished product. Also, sex considerations would have to be taken into account as the female would cook faster from the inside because of an internal cooking port held open with sticks during the roasting period. Males would have to be held higher in the spit so as to not drag their members through the hot coals. The cooked penises were given to the young girls of the tribe who were watched with awe as they devoured them. Marriage proposals soon followed. 

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