ALUMINIUM JIM

3/22/2019

For a human who weighs 160 pounds, there are an estimated 7 billion, billion, billion atoms of which almost 2/3 are hydrogen, 1/4 are oxygen, 1/10 are carbon atoms, and the other 1% is a mix of the remaining 115 elements. Like DNA, the variants of 4 chemicals in the rungs of the double helix ladder constitutes an almost infinite set of life forms just by rearranging these ACGT molecules. Interspersed within this complex life form is a vast array of bacteria and microbes hitching a ride on your mobility and feasting on the food which you procured and sent into your power plant (your stomach and digestive tract). You are a huge community whose borders are defined by your skin with another world just outside of these flexible walls waiting to invade this “country”, either to help or hinder you, as they see fit. All of these intricacies arose from a massive mix of primarily 3 atoms whose chemical properties of sharing electron orbits generated long chain organic molecules that have a specific function in creating and maintaining Y.O.U. (You-nique Organic Unit). What would have happened if, instead of all the hydrogen atoms used that an equal number of hydrogen and aluminum atoms fell into the mix? You would then have an organic unit with metallic properties. You wouldn’t need sweat glands because aluminum is an excellent conductor of heat. You would not stink like BO, but rather you’d smell like a beer can which in reality has no aroma. You wouldn’t have any weight issues because aluminum is a lightweight metal. Skin cancers would disappear because you could sand them off. Different anodized coatings could be incorporated to maintain racism. We could separate the blue people from the red people and could start wars. Broken bones could be fused via heliarc welding and lost limbs restored from cadavers. Dead people are recyclable and, if ground up and powdered, they would make a fantastic rocket fuel for ICBM’s and other nefarious weapons. 

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