RISING SEA LEVELS

4/27/2019

The doomsday news of the modern world is awash with terrifying GLOBAL WARNING (not a misprint) stories and scenarios that scare the bejesus out of its readers. Mankind is hell bent on its own destruction and dabbles in multiple disciplines such as viral and bacterial engineering, nuclear fission and fusion, and throwing gigatons of manufactured waste chemicals into the atmosphere and water. Sooner or later, he might get it right, but if he doesn’t, Mother Earth is standing by. She has decimated more than 99% of all life that has ever lived here, and biped mammals will soon be on that list. But in the meantime, man likes to challenge himself continually and devises new ways to keep busy. When he invented gunpowder, he used it to propel a glob of metal down a machined pipe. He then aimed it at someone who pissed him off. The next order of business was to invent surgeons who could remove the bullet and save a life. Clever. When he figured out the oldest form of life: bacteria, he cultured it, made cheese and anthrax, and distributed it. He countered with vaccines and inoculations. Fantastic. When he solved the riddle of the atomic nucleus, he first split them. Later, he figured out how to use the energy from splitting them to fuse them and can now vaporize millions of people at once. He parried the threat by building protected residences deep underground for the elites who have to wait for the smell of the incinerated minions to clear. Smart. Mankind burns fossil fuels for energy and in doing so is melting polar ice that raises sea levels. When this situation threatens expensive real estate shorelines, he will merely aim missiles affixed to the earth and ignite them all towards the rotation of the earth. According to the laws of motion, this will speed up the earth and centrifugal forces will pile more water at the equator draining the non-tropic waters away from New York, New York, Venice, Italy, and the spewed sewage at Washington DC. Absolute genius. 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s