The competitiveness of the human spirit has been hoisted to a new benchmark as Vaginal Reconstruction techniques have launched like a booster rocket. The vast array of labia sculpting has brought forth some creative geniuses and platoons of plagiarists. The magazine, BETTER GROINS AND GARDENS, showcases monthly new displays of zany, artistic fabrications of the elegant entrances to the fetus factory. The plastic surgeons that create these magnificent designs have been indoctrinated into the world of architecture due to the fact that the uterus was man’s very first home and should be recognized as such. Every year, awards are given for the most exciting inceptions and the winner is awarded the prestigious, Pritzker Pussy Prize, a secondary addition to the main Pritzker Prize for architects. Not to be left in the dirt, the males of the human race have followed suit and are now displaying their surgically modified penises. A common technique is the use of a CNC robotic engraver that will chisel into the shaft of an erect penis, the faces of all the children that male has fathered. It is now apparent that size does matter in that the bigger member can get more mugs carved on it. The Totenum Pole is removed from the trousers at parties and is an ice breaker in conversations with the females as all his children are displayed with a couple of strokes of the hand. The most prevalent theme, though, is the typical testosterone induced idea of sculpturing the sacred shaft into a replica of various types of weapons. Pistols, rifles, axes, knives, and spears have all been observed and falls in line with the actual process of procreation, that which requires thrusting and stabbing movements. For those who wish to remain childless and financially independent, a replica of a pineapple-style hand grenade is embossed on the penis. There is an inscription written on the head that states: WARNING! IF PULLING THE HANDLE OFTEN, THIS WILL GO OFF IN YOUR FACE.