THE BIKER’S TRANSITION

8/29/2020

The very first motorcycle appeared in Germany in 1885 and was known as the Daimler Reitwagon. It was a chemically energized, mechanically assisted bicycle that was targeted for older adults that did not have the stamina to propel their fat asses around anymore. These contraptions caught on with the masses and started showing up around the world. In America, 2 companies started mass producing motorcycles primarily for rapid transportation of an individual. They were the Indian (1901) and Harley Davidson (1903) Motorcycle Companies. With contracts from the military in WWI and WWII, both companies grew rapidly and targeted their improved, sporty, racing models to the public during peacetime. After WWII and every military conflict since then, returning Vets and their cronies have evoked an image of bad boys and outlaw motorcycle gangs. Their premise was unabashed partying, and their motto was, SEX, DRUGS AND SOCK ‘EM COLD. These groups bent the laws of society, and with prostitution, drug dealing, theft, and when exercising murder, they clearly broke it. Intent on cleaning up this 2-wheeled organized crime spree, law enforcement rounded up these hooligans in 3 decades and imprisoned the severe leftists using the RICO Act. In the early years of the 21st century, biker groups again formed, but with a new ideology. These law-abiding shepherds (sheep fuckers) used their motorcycles, that got great fuel mileage, to tote their big butts to restaurants and bars that had the most food and drink for the money. These caloric bikers are on a mission from God to roam the country and stuff all the eggs and prime rib down their pieholes at the lowest possible prices. Baggers and 3-wheeled motorcycles are now commonplace today, so as to conveniently carry home all the leftovers. When a gang of hungry looking, leather wearing, stomach gurgling, fat ass bikers enter a buffet or a happy hour bar, the owners shudder: there will be no profits to be had today.

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