Thoroughly Good Mood Mary Gulloon was one of those rare individuals that displayed a perky presence and lit up ordinary people like Las Vegas at night. When introduced to the Kindness Rocks movement in 2017, she dived headlong into this program like a combine in a Nebraska wheatfield. Constantly showing up at the Home People’s paint department, she bought gallons of vibrant pastels and handfuls of artist’s brushes so she could spread her written encouragement of life on river rocks the size of silver dollars. With a 20-pound sack of artistic endeavors, Mary was off to hike in every corner of the county and hide her little treasures along hiking trails. David O. Bust was an avid hunter and excelled at tracking and identifying animal scat and footprints to the Nth degree. His widespread expertise was legendary due to his walking all the public lands that took him to a multitude of fantastic, diverse locations. After parking his truck, Dave was about 2 miles down the trailhead when he spotted a light brown oval object lying next to the trail. Weasel scat he surmised, but dropping down to all fours, he spotted a painted rock that had the words, YOU GOT THIS, stenciled on it. Another hidden gem that appeared 15 feet farther said, BEAUTY ABOUNDS and yet another with, LOVE THY LIFE. David was furious. Prancing around his personal forest was a goddam littering asshole that had no respect for nature. Grabbing the 4th piece of garbage he found, Mr. Bust took off in a full sprint to try and catch the perpetrator. Half a mile later, there she was, bending over and tossing more trash in the grass. David withdrew the rock he had retrieved and loaded it into his wrist rocket. It whistled out at breakneck speed and found its target right between the eyes of a startled Ms. Galloon. The bone fragments penetrated her brain and she expired immediately. David gutted the malicious monster and left her carcass as an example for the other selfish shitheads.