DRIVE THRUS

11/1/2020

The American public has been inadvertently organized into a collection of antisocial, fat, fast food citizens. They drive themselves and their inebriated past mistakes, known as children, up to the sliding windows to get serviced gastricly. Either time restrained, or just plain-old lazy, these eater-outers prefer to use their iron steeds to pull up to the swill dispenser and slop salt, grease, and fat all over their fine Corinthian leather upholstery. Whether this behavior was inborn or the genius restaurateurs just didn’t want these ugly ducklings in their establishments is unknown, but the latter is more probable. By utilizing a fast delivery system to get the cattle out of the barn quicker, it just makes more sense to invest a few pennies in a paper to-go bag then to put up with these pigs mulling around the store, refilling their 55-gallon soda cups, and defecating in their immaculate bathrooms. As they pull up with expectations to get a satisfying, healthy meal, what better way to destroy their faith in humanity than to give these mobile sheep a bag full of addictive fat that’s been sitting under a heat lamp since last week.  Another benefit is that their smelly, overweight clientele, that is oozing out rivers of sweat, remain in their sewage holding tanks, also known as their transportation. Unfortunately, the drive thru clientele will only get 1 soda each, rather than those ambitious, pushy pigs inside the barn (store). The garbage truck owner’s only job is to articulate their order, pay for it, and drive away with their coveted crap. Whereas inside, the overachievers must stand and articulate their selection of foul forage, pay for it, then install the finishing touches on the cuisine at the condiment station. They will then wait in line where the sugar water is dispensed thus guaranteeing a bout with diabetes. These perky pigs are at an advantage.  They personally witness the swill that falls on the floor as it goes out the drive thru windows.

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