GLAZE LAKE

1/13/2021

Bill Miller and his mistress, Carol, just signed the real estate documents giving them title to parcel GL527. They are now the proud owners of a lake front property on Glaze Lake. This deep, circular lake lies 45 miles north of Little Rock, Arkansas and its high-end lake homes are legendary. Encompassing just over 2 square miles of surface area, this 1300-acre lake is the dream of developers. With a large, circular, deep lake surrounded by a shallow 200′ wide bench that was excavated for beach areas and pier installations, this was a boater’s paradise. However, this lake lacked shoreline by being round; so, excavators started digging multiple canals radiating off the lake. This quadrupled the number of building lots and hence the taxes, so everybody was happy. All because of one 8 lb. socket. It seems that in September of 1980, near an extinct town called Damascus, an accident occurred when the dropped socket pierced a fuel tank on the first stage. Leaking a hypergolic fuel that only needed to come into contact with its onboard oxidizer to ignite, the Titan II missile had at its top, a fully operational 9 megaton, W53 warhead. That contraption was 450 times more powerful than Little Boy that was dropped on Hiroshima. When the fuel ignited, the safeties fused, and the completed circuit activated the plutonium fission ignitor. This set off the thermonuclear excavator, that evaporated out the central crater in a few seconds. The temperatures were so hot, that the unvaporized rock then fused into a glaze, thus, giving the crater and the future lake its name. Within a few years, the radionuclides that were formed in the fission components decayed to non-threatening levels and the nonpermeable hole filled with rain runoff. Politically connected developers created the bench with the numerous canals and gave the lake an aerial view of a corona virus. Bob Miller took his mistress Carol across the threshold and headed her right into the bedroom for some hot fusion sex. 

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