GULF COURSES

1/19/2021

A while ago, some genius thought up the absolute, fantastic idea of dispersing high end houses within the links of a golf course. They placed huge drywall castles on both sides of the fairway and sold these monsters for big money. It appealed tremendously to retired corporate Presidents, Vice Presidents, CEOs, CFOs, and CFDs, (Chief Financial Drain). These individuals made a living by doing business on these great, grassy, pompous pathways to greed and graft. They were usually above average golfers who had some people skills, but their strong point was that they could hold their liquor. Meeting clients on these outdoor sporting venues was an ancient Roman invention called paganica that established the premise, but their descendants in 15th century Scotland, created the first sanctioned golf course. With the advent of the industrial age in English colonies, this game started a perfect marriage to increase business. With cheap land and wide-open spaces, America took over as the leader of these corporate competitions and throwing in $800,000 homes instead of trees to divide the links was a Yankee innovation. Nowadays, with invasive viruses and astronomical land prices, golf courses are mutating. The suburban country club land values have exceeded the revenue generated by the green fees, so of course, they are being sold to developers who cram in as many homes as they can and name the subdivision after the former clubs. Meanwhile as the mutating viruses keep people at least 6′ apart, new enthusiasm for golf has returned. Played outdoors with no personal contact as dictated by other sports, the game is returning to the cities; but the land is all developed. What to do? American ingenuity steps up to the plate and hits a homer. The new golf courses are now installed in older, saturated cemeteries. Trees are cut down and apartment buildings are now erected on stilts placed between the grave sites. It is a sea of living humans linked in a gulf of dead humanity. 

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