INTELIJENSE II

1/31/2021

America has always been reward-responsive, and great energy has been spent on fabricating plaques, trophies, and awards for honoring people who have made a freighter full of funds for some employer. These teak and tinsel trophies could set some corporation back a few $100s, but what the hell, their work netted the owner a 6-figure reward. What America really needed is some type of game show that takes the absolutely dumbest ideas that ever oozed out of an ape’s cranium and turn it into a weekly awards program. It started out with a competition of local locos and worked its way up to regional, state, and finally, national contestants. It became the Superbowl of stupidity and generated billions of dollars of revenue only to be spent in the most ridiculously, ignorant way known to mankind. That is what this award is all about: as each contestant builds on a plan for some asinine idea, the pot grows exponentially bigger. The players make nothing, but for each moronic idea they create, they advance to the next week and face off with some other fool who displays their level of stupidity. In a year’s time, the final 2 contestants vie for the honor of blowing a billion dollars of accumulated wealth on some cockamamie scheme. The winner gets the ultimate INTELIJENSE Award, and the loser becomes the Vice President of the U.S. for a year. In years past, politicians have had a knack for the game and move up the list quite rapidly, but 2 years ago, the winner was a 26-year-old farm boy from China who had his head run over by a tractor when he was 14. Lucky for him, it was muddy that day. The concept that won last time was the idea to create a weapon’s grade virus and release it into a city of 11 million people with 5 airports to disperse. The billion-dollar prize was mailed out to the 2 million victims’ families. That breaks down to a $1250 per family; however, after medical expenses and lawyer fees, each family received $86.56, a windfall profit for an idiot. 

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