MAYTAG MEN

3/17/2021

Inside the human body are tiny service vans full of repair parts driven by competent mechanics, ready to respond to any emergency calls. This is your underrated immune system. When the human body is brand new, the driver and his inventory is lacking in knowledge and onboard parts. This creates difficulty for the apartment complex because it was built for humans, yet is infested by tiny, non-rent paying freeloaders. These invaders include bacteria, viruses, mold, and fungi. Their whole purpose in life is to squat within the housing project for feasting and reproduction activities. Very similar to a bunch of dysfunctional relatives from Backwoods, Mississippi moving into your home for feeding and fornication. These little pathogens attack the various organic appliances (liver, lungs, kidneys, pancreas, etc.) and needs to be addressed. This internal contractor has been designated to repair the damage caused by unruly guests and is granted authority to evict the troublemakers from the premises. With time and experience, the repair guys and their vans can purge 98% of the freeloaders from the high-rise with no side effects. However, sometimes the service men and their vans are overwhelmed and then, the big buck organizations, that occupy fancy offices with lots of nurses, start shoveling in toxic chemicals to flush out the perpetrators instead of letting the MAYTAAG REPAIRMEN do their job. The next thing you know, the whole complex is chemically flooded, and the nasties are flowing out every single opening. The structure soon collapses and is shipped off to the landfill for burial. The moral of the story is: if you bypass the MAYTAAG MAN an use chemical warfare instead of natural repair tactics, the man with the knowledge will quit and you are going to have a big smelly mess on your hands. Remember, when they retire (and someday they will), the apartment complex that is in essence: you, will fall over hard and die with due diligence.

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