A lotsa, long time ago, the tree of life was just a twig emerging out of a warm broth of chemical soup. As single-celled organisms started to bond to each other, multiple-celled creatures appeared amongst the life entrenched oceans. Later, as the biomass became bigger and more specialized, other branches emerged. As the main trunks separated and became whole new species, something occurred. The cell which divided into new cells taught a conglomeration of cells to replicate the creature itself, and sex was born. This instruction strand, at a predetermined moment, can start replicating a mini version of that lifeform with variations that change with time. This constant morphing over 3 billion years, produced between 5 million to 1 trillion species depending on one’s interpretation. With the utilization of hermaphrodites (single sex), diversity suffered as clone like offspring appeared. With the introduction of different sexes, new models were rolling off the assembly lines like cockwork [sic]. Somewhere in Homo Sapiens history lies relatives that only had vaginas. Up inside were eggs and semen, and the only purpose for the body cavity was to deliver another member. Looking for genetic diversity, the early humans started to split up the egg and sperm producing gonads into separate organs and delivery systems. Due to specialized hormones that were produced, differences occurred in size and behavior. Seeders were usually bigger and stronger and egg layers became choice driven. The final evolutionary step came down hard because of 1 sound. A fart. It seems testosterone makes farting fun and competitive. Constant vibrations in the lower pelvis separated the sex organs and continual farting finally pushed the testicles and penis out of the vagina. Hanging on by blood vessels and nerves, the male anatomy sealed off the now useless vagina. The seam between a male’s scrotum and anus is the scar tissue of where it used to be. Farts are an acoustic tool.

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