THE LLAMA CAPER V

4/27/2021

On a fall day, a Monday to be precise, a bevy of last night’s bar patrons drove to work with their favorite radio stations playing. When the news came on, they were all informed of an unknown llama that was tied to a police call box on a non-descript street located in the northwest side of their city. The llama’s name at that time was unknown; however, a crack team of detectives made the connection between an abandoned llama in the city and a missing llama in a suburban town 20 miles to the west. Hundreds of donuts were purchased and distributed amongst the police force to celebrate their intense detective work. The unknown South American, pack animal abductee now had a name: Rooti, the llama. At this time in history, America still had turmoil and rebellion as the Vietnam war closed and the air of unrest hovered at lung level. A small, radical left, terrorist group was in the headlines 18 months prior when they kidnapped the 19-year-old media heiress, Patty Hearst. She was slowly coaxed into joining her captors known as the Symbionese Liberation Army and ended up robbing banks with her abductors. This behavior was known as the Stockholm Syndrome and was later used as a defense at her trial. She was arrested by the police 19 months later: tried, convicted, and sentenced to time in jail. Some DJ on the radio saw a parallel and told the audience that this now famous llama was abducted from his cushy job at the evil root beer empire and eventually decided to join his kidnappers by hanging out in the bar and breathing secondhand cigarette smoke. After a short stint of freedom, Rooti was arrested by the police as he defiantly anchored himself to a police call box. His captors, known as the Symbionese Liberation Llama Army, were on the run and none of the gang members bothered to post Rooti’s bail. It was a sad tale of abduction, assimilation and then abandonment. As Rooti was taken away, his lawyers prepared a Stockholm Syndrome defense. To be continued… 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s