THE LLAMA CAPER VII

4/29/2021

Youth has its own set of rules that exploits the advantages of a healthy, good-looking body. You will never look this good (even if you’re ugly), or have the stamina as you did in your 20’s. Your whole existence back then was driven by nature to reproduce and then spend the rest of your life preparing to exit the planet. Some fought the decree. At 3:30AM, experience and fines taught you to look legal. You always made sure your tail and headlights worked, you stayed within 5 MPH of the speed limit, your license plates were current, and you never stared at a 3rd shift cop. Failure to obey these rules meant you were going to go to work for free to pay the Man. When driving back, the nearly 300-pound llama thought he was a family pet and walked right up front in the moving van. Looking out the windshield and trying to get his fat head out in the airstream through the side windows, the big klutz was going to attract attention. As DD drove, his accomplice pulled him to the back of the van, only to repeat the same scenario. Luck was with them as all the 3rd shifters were hanging out at the donut shops. Timing is the difference between freedom and incarceration. When they pulled into the bar’s parking lot, the lot was empty except for the accomplice’s car and at 4 AM, it was time to go home. The 2 crooks parted ways and DD was going to take Rooti home with him, but not in a bar bitch way. Arriving at the Animal Aquarium, as the tenants called it, this duplex had 8 bachelors living on 4 floors. Three on the 1st floor, 3 on the second, 1 in the attic and 1 in the basement. DD was the mole in the basement and took his prize downstairs with him. Leading him to a 12′ x 12′ walled off room that housed 2 furnaces and some 30 or so storm windows, DD lead the big oaf off to his new accommodations, said good night, and walked to the back of the basement where his bed awaited. It can be awfully tiring putting in a 22-hour day, working construction, and llama rustling.

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