OIL BASED COWS III

6/9/2021   

Poncho and Cisco were fast approaching the 11PM witching hour where the 3rd shift cops sped past middle-aged sex offenders and hardened career criminals to harass the playful youths of Ahh-merica. Anxious to unload their rural booty, the pair quietly pulled up to the darkened house of the former Choirboy called, Greeny. The darkened abode signaled that the loving couple within were either sleeping or getting it on. Either way, it meant that the 2 lovebirds were out of the picture now being painted by the 2 cattle rustlers. With stealth and muffled laughter, Cisco and Poncho unloaded the 6-foot fake creature onto their front lawn and aimed its face towards the street as if to say: “you talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? You must be talkin’ to me, ’cause I’m the only 1 here.” With a quick look back as they boarded Loco, the pair drove off laughing hysterically. The next morning Greeny and the newlywed, Mrs. Greeny awoke to find an unwanted stranger on their front lawn. The 1st cops were enroute, right after finishing their donut binge, compliments of the nosey neighbor. He was looking for an excuse to put these 2 new neighborhood hooligans behind bars. As Greeny went off to work, the wife stayed home, unaware of an upcoming interrogation. After a 2-minute low key questionnaire, the officers grinned, threw their notepads on the dashboard, and boogied. No serial killers here. With a rushed beauty salon appointment to attend, Mrs. Greeny returned home looking like a movie star; just in time, as the local newspaper photographer and journalist showed up. The next day, in the newspaper, was this picture and story of a mysterious plastic cow showing up on the lawn of some regular Americans and what terrorist group could be responsible for such a travesty of criminal behavior. Being in the very early 80’s, the consensus was that this was definitely the workings of an underground alien race hell bent on disrupting average, peace loving citizens of this country.

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