ZOMBILOIDS

6/16/2021  

In the near future, a race of humanoids will branch off from the Homo Sapien limb and create a subspecies, just like we had during the Neanderthal days. These bizarre creatures will form connected communities and procreate with their own kind in order to prevent DILUTION: Nature’s way of homogenizing everything. These biped beasts will live in storm and sewer tunnels in every major city because their very existence was created when scientists sought to eliminate cross species viruses. The recent vaccine inadvertently gave them immunity to bacterial infections and, thus, provided them the ability to live in raw shit without any repercussions. These sewer rats learned quickly that if your housing is free, you don’t have to go to work. This avoids a lot of unnecessary stress that creates medical complications. With the Zombiloids living in the sewer systems and the regular humans live in expensive residences with plumbing connected to this waste removal structure, the 2 entities have entered into a symbio-dick relation-shit. The Upper Deckers (humans) send their spent dinners downtown and the Basement Bastards utilize this waste as a building material. In their maze of tunnels, the Zombiloids construct walls of crap for privacy and make accessorized furniture such as beds out of the stuff. Without fear of infection, this former gross discharge is now a commodity for which to bargain for. If this story has gone off the rails and is pushing the limits of human decency, merely look at an expensive, coveted coffee called “Kopi luwak.” Plucked from the poop of a mongoose relative called a civet, the partially digested beans are roasted and sent all over the world. High end coffee shops sell this shit to con-a-sewers who’ll pay $35-100 a cup. The civets are now force-fed coffee beans in cages and the rarity is now gone. Does anybody really know what lurks in their food today? The lesson here is: if it’s really expensive and requires a reservation, it’s full of shit. 

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