THE BIG MAN

10/9/2021

Fred Fender acquired a habit of stealing large, advertising icons used frequently from the 50’s through the 70’s, as visual props were the rage. He had his eye on a 16′ tall, lightweight, plastic Paul Bunyan statue displayed by a lawn and garden center who did sales and repair work on chainsaws. Situated on a 4 lane, US highway that traversed a large Midwestern city, it was a landmark for anyone giving directions. Lacking Babe, the blue bull, Paul Bunyan stood alone while his 4-legged bovine friend was rumored to have been shipped out for breeding at the plastic animal farm. That was bulloney; Babe was converted into a blue Corvette. Paul B stood there for years and gained a reputation as a quiet man that you didn’t cross. Fred saw him as a challenge. First thing he did was to case the place and see what time the owner and employees left. Next, Fred checked the chain diameter that secured him to the company’s sign pole. A 30″ pair of bolt cutters would suffice. All that was left was to secure a truck and 1 accomplice to help him with the heist. He had a friend who owned a pickup truck with an 8′ bed that had the standard 2′ tailgate and a tall topper over the fleet side pickup box. Now all he needed was a bullshit story and a timeframe in which to borrow the truck to accomplish the heist. As far as an accomplice goes, it was not difficult to find an individual with a bit o’ larceny that could be bought for beer. He selected Jimmy James, who thought he was related to the infamous Jesse James of the 1870’s and was open to any sort of petty crime imaginable. A day was selected: an approximate time that guaranteed darkness during the deed was penciled in, the truck was reserved, a fellow culprit was employed, and bolt cutters were secured. All the pieces were in place. Just a little more research of the neighborhood and the future crime booty was needed to guarantee success. Proper planning is a must if 1 wants to stay out of jail. The plot was finalized.

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