It’s 1 AM on a Sunday morning, and the entire police force is concentrating on crowd control downtown as the party slowly dispersed into the streets. There is an air of tension as multitudes of police gathered in a show of force formation along the main drag of LaCrosse. The players consisted of officers of 20 different police departments from nearby towns and the chemically convinced celebrities that lingered on the sidewalks. Whooping and hollering echoed in the concrete canyons of this quaint college town like a Rebel Yell reminiscent of the American Civil War. There were, after all, drunken history students infiltrating the crowd. All this was normal for OCTOBERFEST. Meanwhile, on the outskirts of town, the Torino derailed the tracks at a new southern intersection and the vehicle was right at home back on a city street. “Take us home NOW!” was the command from the 2 female students in the back seat, who lacked the enthusiasm of the front seat city slickers. “Yah, yah, yah,” was the reply from Dopey, who wasn’t much of a compassionate babysitter. “Where do you live?” was his question. “On the campus, at the blah, blah dormitory!” was the soprano response from the back seat. Dopey knew where the University was, but not that building. So, he drove in the direction of the campus. Upon entering the perimeter of the grounds, a great, big, grassy mall came into view. “Which building is yours?” Dopey asked as he stopped and waited for the response. “That tall 1 on the left is ours,” was the reply. So Dopey looked at Pole-lock, grinned, and jumped the curb. He was now on the grassy mall, traveling at 5mph towards the structure. A look in the rear-view mirror revealed a mall cop, on foot, in hot pursuit. Dopey let the huge guy get right up to the rear bumper and then gunned it. All 4 people in the car spun around and watched as the big oaf got a face full of sod from the spinning tires. He backed off. In the car were 2 people laughing hysterically and 2 NOT!


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