Good parents send their children off to accredited colleges for education and potential advancements, both socially and financially. Dumb parents send their children off to any University of We-can-sin branch. All they will learn is PARTY, PARTY, PARTY! The entire state is an alcohol distillery, and its residents are professional taste testers. This Mid-Western State is an experiment in toxicology and the endurance characteristics of drunken lab rat. Let’s see what the Dwarf Boys are up to: Wop, Bonehead, Pole-lock and Dopey just pulled into town, bypassing 39 beer bars, and headed right for the nightclub where dancing occurs. Dancing is an ancient ritual, invented by females to disperse their pheromones atmospherically. By utilizing pelvic gyrations to act like a bellows, discreet, vaginal odors emanate from the manhole covers and spread out across the dance floor incapacitating the male’s ability to think logically. But men like that, so Bonehead and the Wop headed out on the dance floor to try their luck at fishing as their hips jerked their poles to the music. The remaining 2 left-footed Dwarfs intermingled with the packed nightclub’s patrons and proceeded to entertain themselves with conversations. As the night wore on, and the beers replaced oxygen in the blood with ethyl alcohol, behaviors modified. The Pole-lock lit up cigarettes and discussed sports with jocks. Meanwhile, Dopey had enough of the action and went outside to explore. Being a loner by nature, Dopey walked around the neighborhood taking in the sights. An hour or so went by before he returned to the venue’s parking lot. It was empty. Being abandoned was nothing new for Dopey; he now sought a location to go to sleep in. Heading for the river, he came across a marina whose lot was full of houseboats getting prepped for winter storage. A jump of the fence, testing cabin doors, and soon, success: Dopey found 1 open and entered into an expensive houseboat bedroom. Good-night LaCrosse.

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