OCTOBERFEST IX

11/14/2021

The United States of America is an envied country because of its Constitution that guarantees its citizens’ freedoms that don’t exist elsewhere. A cherished right is the freedom to travel on public highways unimpeded, except for posted speed limits. Go below that limit and you are now fucking with someone’s personal privilege. NOT GOOD. As Wop continued to match his speed with the dead lady, Dopey saw opportunity.  Backing up from immediately behind the Caddy, he gave himself 2 car lengths and hollered to Pole-lock, “hang on!” Dopey punched that brand new powerplant to its designed limits and started moving left around the Caddy. He had waited until it was a dead straightaway and the center median gave way to a 35° downslope to a ditch in the middle. Dopey knew if it was level ground, the Wop would try and outflank him on the left. Going off road was nothing new to this collection of non-conformist Dwarfs. As the car reached 70 mph on a 35° slope on grass, the car started to slide downhill but Dopey pulled the wheel slightly to the right to crab steer that Torino right at the top of the rise. A glance to the right saw Pole-lock with both hands embedded in the dashboard and his eyes wide open and bulging out. A look higher up revealed 2 clowns in a Caddy, looking down with both their jaws dropped, mouthing out the words, “HOLEY SHIT!” The brand-new tires on the Torino proved their worth as it held this position while constantly accelerating. The low center of gravity kept the Ford from flipping, and when Dopey cleared the Caddy, he pulled the wheel gradually to the right and back on the highway in front of Wop and Bonehead. As he sped up to gain some time, he looked in the rearview mirror to see the Caddy pulling away from the Dodge Dart and 5,000 other trailing vehicles. They all stayed back as none of those drivers wanted anything to do with these rambunctious youths. The Dwarfs sped on to distance themselves from all the witnesses left behind.

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