GO KEVIN

2/13/2022    

Superbowl 56, full of pageantry, hype, and capitalism is promoted by competition. The advertising cost on this much viewed game is $6.5 million for a 30 second slot, plus production costs. The days of $1 million/ minute commercials are gone thanks to inflation and our new friend named Covid. This viral Trojan Horse has been pushed up to our front doors by media and the sneezing winds of humanity. As the Horses mutate from Arabian to Appaloosa to Jackasses, the sheep are trapped in the barns thanks to megaphone-toting experts. This guarantees a captive audience and jacks up the prices on everything, including your can of advertised, artery hardening, sugar water.  Approaching the 2-year anniversary of the world lockdown, the passive sheep are getting a little perturbed. With a seat costing around 6 grand and up, this game will be a very expensive 4 hours to caress your ass. That’s not counting the $500 to park outside the stadium. As the fans enter, the masks are installed, and all have brought their vaccination certifications as a document that is as important as a passport. A new document has been recently approved as a substitute: a verification from your doctor that states you have successfully survived a Covid infection recently. If passed the quarantined period that has now been lowered, this document is golden. Genius has recognized that natural immunity is now acceptable. Fantastic. As the game gets underway, the fans settle in for the supremacy of football. With an hour of halftime entertainment that wows the music production manager, the clash continues as the rival teams vie for victory. The winner triumphs, and half of the spectators are happy. The young, female reporter is interviewing Kevin, the MVP and the sheep see an opportunity to express their views on TV. “FUCK COVID!” is chanted rhythmically. The religiously raised, cub reporter hears her own version and states: “oh listen; the fans are saying, LETS GO KEVIN!” “Isn’t that wonderful?” 

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