TWINS

4/19/2022      

Among the shoe shufflers (Homo Sapiens), the current rate of having fraternal twins (2 separately fertilized eggs) is 1 in 250 births. Identical twins (1 egg that splits into 2 equivalent humans) is 1 in 3 sets of twins. Factors that influence these multiple births are genetics (within the mother’s history), height, weight, and diet. Tall, fat women who consume a lot of protein tend to discharge more dumplings than those that don’t. Statistics don’t lie until marketing numbs the numb(ers). The fraternal twins are 2 separate siblings who came out at the same time because their mothers didn’t like being pregnant. “Let’s just get this shit over with.” They shared the same placenta and birthday but that’s about it. They are 2 distinct people with 3 sex combinations who tend to drift away into different lifestyles. Identical twins, however, share the same sex and looks due to its single source egg, but they vary in personalities because of environmental influences and DNA mutations, like cosmic particle collisions. This creates 2 different people that are intertwined physically and emotionally. The drawback to this situation is that you can view in real time, just what an ugly asshole you can be. Imagine having your duplicate brain installed on a drone and invisibly following yourself around. You get to see first-hand just what a social pariah and consummate dick head you can be. As you follow your dumbass twin around, you watch all your flaws come into view as this moronic behavior continues to broadcast outwards like an idiot’s wake. You cannot take it anymore, so you install a BB Gatling Gun on the nose of your drone and begin to fire a salvo of lead at your real-life head to modify your errant behavior. The advantage here is that, over time, you can mold yourself into a civil individual and make it through life without being killed. So, whenever you see a set of identical twins, you can understand how, at times, they can die from utter embarrassment.