ERECTIONS II

7/4/2022     

In the early morning hours of January 1st, 2000, a common woman of 23 years of age gave birth to a son of equally common origin. She named him Willy, and her married name of Wanger completed his birth certificate.  Being the first day of the new millennium, all eyes were on the multitude of world computers that were rumored to malfunction and create chaos. Nothing happened; and so did Willy Wanger’s debut on the blue ball: nothing of any consequence happened then. Willy grew up in a world that now favored keyboard driven electronic brains that would mold Willy’s world. No longer requiring 2 parents to raise their babies, a tablet was given to Willey on his 1st birthday, and thus began his indoctrination into cyber-rearing where Internet providers now were the motivating child teachers. Growing up on games, morphing to chats, and currently intoxicated with TikTok Takes. It was here that young Mr. Wanger saw the video promoting drilling a hole in the bed, sleeping on his stomach with his penis hanging into the gravity grower, and then drinking an extra-large BIG GULP container full of water and Portland Cement to harden and extend his love muscle. Being an easily influenced young man, Willy took the road that most competitive Testosterone Toters do and doubled the dosage and duration of his rock-hard penis enlarger program. Remember when it was stated that the human penis is loosely attached? It’s because it lacks a bone called a Baculum that is present in other primates such as chimps and bonobos. The lack of this tensile structure and the excessive mass of a con-cock caused Mr. Wanger’s weenie to rip off. Billions of stupid males were pushing their limits and hard cocks fell by the hundreds of millions. Fear not, Capitalistic Americans: these 10-pound Penis Pedestals are available for sale on the Internet. These FUCK YOU FOREVER TROPHIES make for great gifts as ice breakers and conversation pieces on coffee tables. They also double as decorative door stops. 

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